The Silver Sands Retail Colony was currently being swallowed by a Class-5 ion storm, but Mr. Meankinder didn’t care. The three-headed manager was crouched in the main concourse with microscopic laser-tweezers, ignoring the screaming customers fleeing a pack of escaped hyper-crabs.
“Look at it, Ryan!” Mr. Mean shrieked. “The edges! They’re perfectly equilateral! This dust mote is the peak of cosmic geometry!”
“Sir, the food court is literally folding into the fourth dimension,” Ryan said, dodging a flying burrito from El Pluto Loco.
“It’s beautiful,” Mr. Kind whispered, weeping from his left eye. “The symmetry is divine. I must name it Percival.”
Dover groaned as a panicked crowd trampled his metal treads. “I’m just a stairway to nowhere. Let the crabs eat me. It’s a step up from this.”
Nebula Norris swung her third arm to catch a falling tray of Nacho-Noids. “Ryan, your boss is trying to marry lint while the mall structural integrity is at four percent.”
Ryan grabbed a janitorial vacuum. “Sorry, Percival.”
He sucked up the mote. Mr. Mean’s middle head collapsed in grief, while the other two heads simultaneously offered Ryan a raise and a lifetime ban.
(This story was created by an earthquake on July 1, 2026, Magnitude of: 2.27. 19 km ESE of Silver Springs, Nevada. URL:https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nn00920998)
