Ryan pushed his electric scooter through the Northern Void Outpost, a retail district suspended over the swirling gas clouds of the Covelo Gravity Well. Usually, the food court was a riot of multi-limbed shoppers, but today it was eerily silent. Every single employee and customer was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring intensely at a puddle of shimmering purple slime on a pedestal.
“What is the deal?” Ryan asked Dover, who was currently compressed into his accordion-walking mode. “Why is everyone staring at a spilled smoothie?”
“It is not a smoothie, Ryan,” Dover sighed, his voice a drone of metallic misery. “It is the Great Gloop of Gratuitous Giving. They are practicing the Law of Reverse Desire. The guru teaches that if you want something, the universe hates you and keeps it away. But if you truly, deeply do not want it, the universe gets confused and gives it to you anyway. It is the most depressing thing I have ever heard. I love it.”
Nebula Norris sat near the front, her third arm currently holding a book titled How to Be Your Own Worst Enemy. She looked at Ryan with total apathy. “Go away, Ryan. I am trying to un-manifest a promotion at El Pluto Loco so that the corporate overlords will be forced to give me a raise.”
Suddenly, the three-headed Mr. Meankinder floated over. Mr. Kind was weeping with joy while Mr. Mean tried to bite his own ears off. “Ryan!” Mr. Kind chirped. “You must join us! Stop wanting your paycheck! If you stop wanting it, the accounting department will be overwhelmed by the cosmic vacuum and accidentally double it!”
Ryan realized the entire mall’s economy was about to collapse because nobody wanted to buy anything. He stepped up to the purple slime and pulled out a half-eaten bag of Earth-style sour cream and onion chips.
“I really, really hope nobody eats these delicious, salty snacks,” Ryan announced loudly. “It would be a total disaster if I had to share.”
The Great Gloop pulsated. The logic of the Law of Reverse Desire rippled through the room. Within seconds, the crowd descended into a violent retail frenzy, screaming about how much they did not want the latest tech as they trampled each other to buy it.
“I think I broke the universe’s self-esteem,” Ryan said, as a four-armed toddler stole his chips.
Dover groaned as he expanded back into a stationary staircase. “Great. Now I have to go back to work. I really did not want that. Oh no, it worked.”
(This story created by another earthquake near Covelo, CA, July 11, 2026, Magnitude 2.1. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc75393796/executive)
