Ryan gripped the handlebars of his electric scooter as it sputtered through the thick, bioluminescent ferns of the Great Evergreen Abyss. This sector of the Mall, located 31 clicks North-North-West of the Central Food Court on the moon Mendocino-4, was a Living Wilderness showroom that had gone rogue centuries ago. Now, it was a humid deathtrap filled with carnivorous yoga mats and territorial kiosks.
“We are going to die here, Ryan,” Dover wheezed, his metal steps clanking together in a rhythm of pure despair. The sentient escalator had compressed himself into an accordion shape, hobbling behind Ryan on his handrails. “I can feel my gears seizing. Just leave me. Let the moss reclaim my rubber belts.”
“Quiet, Dover. We just need to find the emergency exit before the nightly floor-scrubbing lasers activate,” Ryan whispered, checking his tattered paper map. Mr. Meankinder had sent him to retrieve a limited edition camping stove that was actually a dormant thermal detonator, and time was running out.
A rustle in the oversized ferns stopped them cold. A pack of Wild Shopping Carts emerged, their wheels squeaking a war cry. They were led by a Golden Cart, the apex predator of the Clearance Zone. They did not want blood; they wanted to hoard whatever was in Ryan’s pockets to satisfy their primal urge to be full.
“Throw the coupons, Ryan!” Nebula Norris yelled, dropping from a giant redwood-circuit tree. Her third arm was currently growing out of her left ear, holding a pressurized can of Discount Repellent. She sprayed the lead cart, which recoiled in horror from the seventy-percent-off fumes.
“Nebula? What’re you doing out here?” Ryan asked, dodging a pouncing cart.
“I got fired from Sub-Space Way for putting actual dirt in the Earth-Style wraps. Figured I would hide where the managers are too scared to go,” she smirked, grabbing Ryan’s hand. “Follow me! There is a secret tunnel behind the Mountain Equipment Co-Op waterfall!”
They sprinted toward the roaring water, but a massive shadow loomed over them. It was Mr. Meankinder’s Meanest Head, projected via a holographic security drone. “Random! Why aren’t you back? And why is the Golden Cart still alive? That is store property!”
“I’m practicing survival skills, boss!” Ryan shouted, leaping through the waterfall just as the floor-scrubbers turned on, vaporizing the ferns instantly.
They tumbled onto the linoleum of a brightly lit corridor. Ryan checked his pockets; the stove was gone. He looked up and realized they were not in the main hall. They were in a store called The Void. There were no doors, no windows, and the floor was made of thousands of tiny, screaming mouths.
“Well,” Dover sighed, “at least those floor mouths look like they have good dental insurance.”
(This story created by a California earthquake on August 4, 2026. Magnitude of: 4.41. 31 km NNW of Covelo, CA. URL :https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc7541215)
