Ryan stood before the High Tribunal of the Coso Igneous Outlet Hub, clutching a stained receipt. A sentient puddle of lava named Mag-Ma was suing him for emotional evaporation after Ryan mopped him up near the food court fountain.
The Judge, Mr. Meankinder, wrestled with his own necks. “Death to the human!” Mr. Mean shrieked. “Give him a sticker for his bravery!” Mr. Kind countered. Mr. Er simply hummed a dial-up tone of confusion.
“Your Honors,” Ryan said, holding up a tattered mall map. “Per Section 42 of the Customer Conduct Code, any liquid shopper not in a designated bottle is legally classified as a spill. I did not assault him; I performed a mandatory janitorial service.”
Mag-Ma hissed, expanding into a searing wave of molten rock that singed Dover’s metal railings. Ryan quickly slapped a bright yellow Wet Floor sign onto the judge’s desk as the lava lunged.
“Loophole!” Ryan yelled, ducking behind the pessimistic escalator. “By law, you cannot touch me or the court property until this sign is removed by a certified supervisor!”
Mr. Meankinder froze, his three heads locked in a bureaucratic stalemate as the lava customer sputtered in legal frustration, unable to settle the bill.
(This story created by a California earthquake. Magnitude of: 2.93. 10 km ENE of Coso Junction, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci40658258)
