Ryan stood in the center of the mall’s Kettleman Prime Culinary Hub, clutching a soggy burrito. Across the food court, a massive, six-eyed Glorg prepared to crush a delivery droid. Suddenly, the mall’s atmospheric filter hummed a high C, releasing a cloud of Melodic Mists from the vents.
“Why can’t you just give me my dipping sauce?” the Glorg belted out in a booming, operatic baritone. He gestured dramatically, his tentacles fluttering like silk ribbons.
The droid responded in a pitch-perfect auto-tune soprano. “Your credit chip has been declined, oh beast of ancient slime! My circuits weep for your empty wallet, in this retail space and time!“
“Oh, great,” Ryan muttered, though it came out as a rhythmic rap with random beat-boxing flourishes. He cleared his throat and attempted to speak normally. “The Broadway Beam is leaking again! It’s making everyone sing! Dover, get over here before I start doing jazz hands.”
Dover the Escalator rumbled forward, his metal steps clinking like a xylophone. “I’m sinking into a minor key, a staircase of misery,” he sang with the gravelly soul of a blues legend. “My rubber rails are weary, and the lighting here is dreary.”
Nebula Norris pirouetted out of El Pluto Loco, her third arm tossing salt packets like confetti. “Ryan, hit the high note or the mall’s structural integrity will collapse from the lack of a bridge!”
A chorus line of Gray Aliens emerged from Abercrombie & Droid, kicking their spindly legs in synchronization. Mr. Meankinder’s heads began a three-part harmony of “You’re fired…fired… fireddddd!”
Ryan realized the only way to stabilize the vibration was a grand finale. He jumped onto a table and screamed a falsetto note so piercing it shattered every window in the station. Silence fell, followed by a shower of glass.
“Encore?” Mr. Kind asked hopefully, while Mr. Mean reached for a pink slip. Mr. Er just licked his own eyelids, which is how he normally showed his appreciation for a show-stopping musical performances.
(This story created by a California earthquake. Magnitude of: 3.34. 10 km NNE of Kettleman City, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc75411117)
