Ryan stood at the edge of the Sulfur-Steam Sinkhole Outpost in the Niland sector, watching a massive, tentacled Gloom-Beast tear through the storefront of Sand-Wich. The creature let out a roar that shattered every glass display in Sector 4. Security alerts blared, and Mr. Mean’s head screamed through Ryan’s earpiece to vaporize the intruder before it ate the profit margins.
Ryan didn’t pull a blaster; he pulled out a stack of coupons. Dover, currently folded into a vibrating metal chair, groaned. “It is going to swallow us, Ryan. It is the ultimate step down.”
Ryan ignored him, walking up to the beast. It was not attacking; it was shivering. Ryan noticed the creature’s giant, weeping eye was fixed on a Buy One, Get One Free sign for extra-strength nasal decongestant.
“Rough allergy season on the gas giants?” Ryan asked, holding out the paper.
The Gloom-Beast froze, let out a wet, honking sneeze that coated Ryan in lime-green slime, and gently took the coupon with a single suction cup.
“See? Just a misunderstood tourist with a sinus infection,” Ryan said, wiping his face.
Suddenly, the beast realized the coupon had expired yesterday and began charging its secondary laser-tentacle.
(This story created by a California earthquake on July 25, 2026 — another one in Niland, CA. Magnitude of: 2.95. 10 km SW of Niland, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci40660970)
