The Coso Junction Geothermal Sector was melting. Liquid sulfur dripped from the ceiling of the Bed Bath & Way Beyond, but Mr. Meankinder’s Kind head would not budge from the decorative fountain. He was hunched over the geyser with a tiny silk net, humming a rhythmic lullaby to the steam.
“Sir, the tectonic plates of this moon are literally folding like a taco,” Ryan shouted, his security scooter tires melting into the floor. “We need to reach the escape pods before the food court becomes a magma pit.”
“Just one more, Ryan!” the Kind head chirped, eyes wide with manic glee. “Look at the surface tension on that vapor sphere! It is the Platonic ideal of a bubble!”
Meanwhile, the Mean head was screaming at the Kind head to run, and the Er head was just blowing raspberries into the steam.
Dover the Escalator rumbled nearby, his metal steps clanking in a depressing minor key. “Why bother? We are all just grease on the gears of fate,” he sighed. “If the lava doesn’t get us, the insurance claim will be a nightmare.”
Nebula Norris skated past, her third arm using a fire extinguisher as a jet-propulsion tool. “Hey Ryan, the guy at the kiosk says the escape pods are full of churros, so I am just going to ride the magma flow out of here!”
Mr. Meankinder lunged, falling face-first into the boiling minerals. He emerged gasping, holding a shimmering, perfectly round bubble that glowed with a rhythmic purple light.
“I have it!” he shrieked. “The perfect geometry!”
The bubble popped. The resulting shockwave inverted the mall’s gravity. Ryan hit the ceiling just as the Mean head took over, screaming, “YOU ARE ALL FIRED FOR POPPING MY PERFECTION!”
(This story created by a California earthquake on August 20, 2026. Magnitude of: 3.29. 10 km ENE of Coso Junction, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci41532240)
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