The Bed Bath & Way Beyond on the Johannesburg level of the mall was having a rough Tuesday.
Ryan had been polishing a chrome fountain when High Priest Shhh fell through the ceiling. Hailing from the Dimension of Absolute Stillness, High Priest Shhh had never seen a price tag. He stood amidst a stampede of six-legged shoppers, mistaking their consumerist screaming for a holy choir.
“They are purifying the atmosphere!” Shhh chirped, pointing at a malfunctioning Pulsar-Vacuum inhaling a hover-stroller.
Dover groaned, his metal steps sagging. “Another tourist who thinks retail chaos is a spiritual awakening.”
Ryan watched in horror as Shhh began “liberating” the inventory, handing out unstable anti-matter blenders to infants because he thought they were holy relics. Nebula dodged a flying toaster, grinning. “Is he hiring? I like his vibe.”
Mr. Meankinder’s heads were already arguing; one wanted to fire Ryan, while the other offered the priest a management position. The Er head simply wanted to get one of the free toasters.
“Sir, you can’t give away the merchandise!” Ryan shouted, dodging a rogue appliance.
Shhh smiled beatifically. “But the shiny boxes told me they wanted to be free.”
Shhh just continued handing out the blenders until one of them hummed in a frequency that triggered the mall’s self-destruct sequence. Uh-oh…
(The story created by a California earthquake on Sept. 8, 2026. Magnitude of: 2.8. 16 km WSW of Johannesburg, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci41542768)