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The alarm at the Cloverdale-8 Ridge, a retail colony suspended over the Emerald Stream Sector, was screaming. Usually, this meant a localized supernova in the food court, but today it was worse. Dover had stopped moving.

“I am not moving another inch, Ryan,” Dover groaned, his metal handrails vibrating with existential dread. “I felt it. A microscopic imperfection on my forty-second step. It felt like a pebble. Or perhaps a soul. I must find it and achieve total planarity.”

“Dover, you’re an escalator,” Ryan said, poking a dented panel with his security flashlight. “You don’t have a soul, and you definitely don’t have time for a pedicure. There’s a horde of miserable Octo-toddlers stuck on your mid-section and they’re all crying. Soon they’ll get angry and start to eat your handrails!”

Mr. Meankinder stomped over. Mr. Mean’s head was bright red. “This blockage is costing us three million Space-Credits a minute! Fire the stairs!” He screamed.

Mr. Kind’s head patted Ryan’s shoulder. “You are doing a great job, Ryan, have a peppermint.”

Mr. Er’s head just hummed a confusing, rhythmic sea shanty.

Nebula drifted by, her third arm currently growing out of her left ear to hold a leaking cup of Jovian Juice. “I heard Dover is going through a phase,” she smirked. “I have some industrial-grade sander-bots in my locker. We could just grind him down until he is a slide.”

Dover let out a mechanical wail. “A slide? The indignity! I am a precision-engineered vertical transport system! I will not move until I find the Golden Burr!”

Dover began reverse-cycling his steps at high speed, flinging the Octo-toddlers into the nearby fountain of Liquid Nitrogen. He was single-mindedly scouring his own treads, ignoring the black smoke pouring from his gears.

“Look, Dover!” Ryan yelled, pointing at a discarded piece of pink chewing gum on the floor. “There it is! The Golden Burr! It fell off your forty-second step!”

Dover stopped instantly, his optical sensors zooming in on the blob. “It is beautiful,” he whispered, his depression briefly lifting. “I feel balanced. I feel whole.”

Then the gum spoke. “Actually, I am a sentient diplomat from the Gelatinous Galaxy,” the blob squeaked. “And you just stepped on my wife.”

Dover’s gears groaned. “That’s it,” he sighed, retracting his railings into his chassis. “I am becoming a ramp.”

(This story created by a California earthquake. Magnitude of: 4.26. 8 km ESE of Cloverdale, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc75407577)

See an animated scene from this story on Instagram. And youtube

Ryan scrubbed a glob of synth-mustard off his security shirt in the Silver Springs Silo Food Court, unaware that six-eyed nobles were watching with bated breath. To the Gloop-Sapiens, the circular motion of a human hand was the Ancient Sigil of the Un-Stained Prophet. Before Ryan could finish his lunch, the nobles prostrated their translucent bodies across the linoleum, declaring him the High Chancellor of the Food Court.

“I’m just trying to clean my uniform,” Ryan said as they hoisted him onto a hovering throne made of crushed soda cans.

Mr. Meankinder floated over, his Kind head beaming: “Ryan, wonderful news! You have secured a massive investment!” “

The Mean-Head snarled: “”But if they find out you’re just a teenager, they’ll dissolve the mall into acid! Do not mess this up, useless human, or I’ll fire you into a black hole!”

The Er head simply smiled wistfully at the mustard, as if finding a friend.

Dover rattled up on his escalator tracks, his metal railing vibrating with dread. “The Gloop-Sapiens require the Prophet to perform the Great Cleansing at noon,” the escalator moaned. “That’s in two minutes, Ryan. If you don’t turn that fountain into vintage grape soda, we are all dead!”

Nebula leaned against a McDoppler sign, tossing Ryan a packet of purple space-dye. “Fake it until you make it… or melt, Space-Boy.”

As the clock struck noon, the nobles began to vibrate at a lethal frequency. Ryan looked at the fountain, then at the dye. He tripped, accidentally pouring the dye into his own security boots. The nobles gasped as his footwear turned a royal, glowing violet.

“Behold!” Ryan shouted, standing on one leg. “The Holy Boots of the Future!”

The Gloop-Sapiens cheered and began their ritualistic dance, but Ryan’s relief vanished when he realized the space-dye was actually a high-grade industrial adhesive, permanently fusing his feet to the floor just as the mall cleaning drones arrived to steam-mop the area.

(This story created by an earthquake near California on July 26, 2026. Magnitude of: 3.4. 18 km SE of Silver Springs, Nevada. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nn00922397)

To see an animated scene from this story on Instagram, click here. Or youtube.

Ryan stood at the edge of the Sulfur-Steam Sinkhole Outpost in the Niland sector, watching a massive, tentacled Gloom-Beast tear through the storefront of Sand-Wich. The creature let out a roar that shattered every glass display in Sector 4. Security alerts blared, and Mr. Mean’s head screamed through Ryan’s earpiece to vaporize the intruder before it ate the profit margins.

Ryan didn’t pull a blaster; he pulled out a stack of coupons. Dover, currently folded into a vibrating metal chair, groaned. “It is going to swallow us, Ryan. It is the ultimate step down.”

Ryan ignored him, walking up to the beast. It was not attacking; it was shivering. Ryan noticed the creature’s giant, weeping eye was fixed on a Buy One, Get One Free sign for extra-strength nasal decongestant.

“Rough allergy season on the gas giants?” Ryan asked, holding out the paper.

The Gloom-Beast froze, let out a wet, honking sneeze that coated Ryan in lime-green slime, and gently took the coupon with a single suction cup.

“See? Just a misunderstood tourist with a sinus infection,” Ryan said, wiping his face.

Suddenly, the beast realized the coupon had expired yesterday and began charging its secondary laser-tentacle.

(This story created by a California earthquake on July 25, 2026 — another one in Niland, CA. Magnitude of: 2.95. 10 km SW of Niland, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci40660970)