Ryan and Nebula were wedged inside a sentient locker in the Corcoran Detention Asteroid, a high-security wing floating above the Mall’s methane pits. Outside, Mr. Meankinder’s Angry Head bellowed, searching for whoever replaced the Infinite Refill soda fountain with actual liquid magma.

“If he catches us, he’ll demote me to the grease-trap pits of McDopplers,” Nebula hissed, her third arm frantically trying to hotwire the locker’s biometric lock with a used straw.

“Stay cool,” Ryan whispered, spotting a crate of Emergency Camouflage Ponchos that only worked if the wearer remained perfectly still and made loud bird noises.

As the locker door hissed open, Meankinder’s Kind Head peered inside. Ryan and Nebula immediately froze, flapping their arms and squawking like Glarble-gulls.

“Just a pair of rare, invisible space-gulls,” the Er Head muttered, scratching its chin. “Carry on.”

They almost made it to the exit when Dover the Escalator rumbled past, his steps clanking in despair. “Ryan! You’re late for your shift! Also, those birds are considered a five-star delicacy in this sector!”

A swarm of hungry, fork-wielding shoppers immediately rounded the corner, eyeing Ryan’s poncho.

(This story created by a California earthquake. Magnitude of: 2.49. 10 km NNW of Corcoran, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc75425232)

To see a scene from this story on Instagram, click here.

Ryan sprinted across the corroded boardwalks of the Desiccation Sector, his security shoes squeaking on the salt-crusted metal. Ahead of him, a sentient Gourmet Water Cube—a translucent, shivering gelatinous blob worth six months’ rent—bounced off a passing Gorgon’s knee and careened toward the edge of the Salton Crater.

“Ryan, grab it before it hits the brine!! Nebula yelled, her third arm swinging a giant butterfly net that accidentally caught a disgruntled space-tourist instead. The Outpost’s twin suns were beating down, turning the mall’s exterior shopping district into a literal oven.

Dover the Escalator rumbled beneath them, vibrating with existential dread. “I am feeling particularly steep today, Ryan,” Dover groaned, his metal teeth grinding as he slanted himself into an improvised ramp to launch Ryan over a pile of discarded hover-skates. “Why chase hydration when we are all destined for the great cosmic rust?”

Ryan hit the ramp and soared, fingertips grazing the cold, wobbling cube. He landed in a heap of discount space-suits, but the cube ricocheted off a Bed Bath and Way Beyond sign and headed straight for the Mall Manager’s office.

Mr. Meankinder’s Kind head opened the door, beaming a smile. “Oh, hello boys and girls! Do you have my—” The Mean head suddenly jerked forward, purple with rage. “—WHERE IS MY LUNCH, RANDOM?”

The Water Cube slammed into Mr. Er’s central mouth, which reflexively swallowed it. The manager froze, his three necks vibrating in unison as his torso began to swell like a massive, translucent weather balloon.

“Run,” Ryan whispered, grabbing Nebula’s hand.

As the mall’s ceiling began to crack from the internal pressure of the expanding manager, Nebula checked her watch. “Well, on the bright side, we are technically on our lunch break now.”

(This story created by a California earthquake on August 25, 2026. Magnitude of: 3.06. 12 km WSW of Salton City, CA. URL:https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci41536408)

To see an animated scene from this story: Instagram. Or youtube.

Ryan ducked as a glob of molten slag sizzled past his ear, missing his security cap. The Coso Thermal Crater Annex was experiencing a Customer Satisfaction Event, meaning a sixty-foot-tall Magma-Gurgler was currently smashing into The Outer Limit Factory Outlet.

“Extinguish it, Ryan!” Mr. Meankinder’s Mean head screamed through the radio.

His Kind head added, “Use the eco-friendly foam, dear boy.!

Ryan ignored both heads, watching the beast. It wasn’t attacking; it was weeping liquid fire and pointing a jagged claw at a crumpled piece of paper.

Dover the Escalator rumbled beneath Ryan’s feet. “He’s just like me, Ryan. A hollow shell filled with heat and regret. Let him melt the Payless Tentacles. It’s a mercy killing.”

“He’s not attacking, Dover. Look,” Ryan said, scooting his electric vehicle through a cloud of sulfur. He snatched the singed document from the creature’s tremor-inducing hand. It wasn’t a declaration of war. It was a Buy One, Get One Free voucher for El Pluto Loco’s Sub-Zero Nitrogen Slushies.

Nebula Norris leaned out of the slushie kiosk, her third arm wiping blue goo off the counter. “I told him we don’t accept expired coupons from the Andromeda Galaxy, Ryan. Rules are rules.”

The Magma-Gurgler let out a roar that shattered the windows of Abercrombie & Droid. Ryan grabbed a pen and scribbled “Valid in all Dimensions” on the back of the voucher.

“Corporate override,” Ryan shouted, handing it back. “Give him the slushy, Nebula.”

Nebula shrugged and handed over a gallon of frozen neon liquid. The Gurgler swallowed it, sighed a cloud of cooling steam, and promptly fell asleep, blocking the main entrance.

“Great job, Random,” Mr. Mean growled over the comms. “Now help the customers climb over his snoring carcass. No overtime!”

(This story created by a California earthquake on August 23, 2026. Magnitude of: 3.96264786337985. 10 km ENE of Coso Junction, CA. URL: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/ci41533416)

To see an animated scene from this story, go to Instagram. Or youtube.